The tag that spread like wild fire.. and more.

I read a lot of blogs and over the last few days, I have seen so many posts on the sins against gender stereotypes. In the very unlikely case you don't know what I am talking about - it is a tag to list down the things that your gender is generally expected to do, that you do NOT do.

It was fun reading all the "un-womanly" things a lot of ladies like to do and I could relate to a lot of what these interesting people said, be it loving motorcycles, avoiding makeup and jewelry, preferring hard drinks over wine/cocktails, being okay with explicit jokes, going to the movies or eating out alone, willing to take on physical challenges, etc, etc.

But then, I also got thinking about why some things are even gender stereotyped. I guess because a significant number of us actually enjoy those. As for me, I am perfectly happy toeing the line in these ways: reading chick-lit, cooking, letting the menfolk take care of logistic trivialities, analyzing the crap out of relationships, thinking one can never have too many handbags or shoes and that the only thing better than chocolate is... more chocolate, window shopping, mall hopping, talking on the phone for hours, etc, etc.

Good thing is I apparently do all of this in moderation because I have never been accused of being 'girly' or of being a tomboy all the time, maybe one of the two at different points.

As the title of the post indicates, that is not all (duh). Honestly speaking, all these activities, "un-womanly" and otherwise have their respectable place in society. However, there is a lot of stigma attached to other things, which is quite unwarranted (in my opinion) since I find those to be perfectly acceptable too. No, no - I am not talking about controversial issues like pre-marital sex, abortion, euthanasia, same sex marriage and such stuff. I am only talking about simple, everyday stuff. For example,

* Not thinking that maa ke haath ka khaana is the best and nothing can outperform that. My mom is a fantastic cook and it is my greatest hope that I will take after her in this department. But the thing is, I refuse to gush over it or say that no restaurant or no one can ever beat that. Because that is just not true. People like their mothers' food because it is what they grew up eating; they are used to it and hence are comfortable with it. But say that out loud, and people say - ooh, someone's so high and mighty that she doesn't like home cooked food anymore. Huh?

* Not deluding babies with hugs, kisses and baby talk. I like kids and think they are great fun. But, I refuse to forcibly smother them with 'love', talking gibberish all the while. In fact, most kids voluntarily talk/babble to me and indicate their willingness to be carried by me, and this, I believe, is simply because I let them be and do not insist on making them uncomfortable. However, a lot of people are not happy to see that I am not gearing up to be all over their kids.

* Complaining about something that your folks do. I, of course, do not imply that washing one's dirty linen in public is acceptable. I am just talking about things that reasonable people can disagree with and things that are not intensely private/personal in nature. The very same people who do not mind getting vitriolic about their in-laws turn around and judge you if you have any difference of opinion with your parents. Your parents are as human as your in-laws (who, incidentally, are someone's parents as well). It is only natural that your parents are not infallible. And, you, as a rational human being, should be able to disagree with them without being considered a horrible person.

In the same vein, people clamor for privacy. But if someone says living with their parents is tough, somehow, that is not looked upon with favor. I believe it is challenging for two different generations to co-exist in the same house, mainly because of their disparate lifestyle choices, if not more reasons, even if they happen to be one's parents.

This attitude is mainly the offshoot of people mistakenly believing that complaining about your parents implies you do not love them. Gasp. Is it so hard to believe that one might not agree with every single thing one's parents say or might want to have one's own pad and yet love the parents like mad?

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Okay, I previewed this post and it basically reads like my brain farted. Before I am tempted to add to this mish-mash, I am going to bite the bullet and hit 'Publish Post'.

Oh, and by the way, have you ever felt the same way about any of these things (or some others) or am I the only one seeing these white elephants?